The Rainy Day That Never Came

Been holding onto these notes in the drafts pile for a while. In fact since this day

Our pastor and his wife shared with us in three parts the sage and important ideas they've learned parenting three boys. 

Love it

This is part one beginning with the preschool years. Also known as Mama's Lost Her Mind/Patience/Temper Years.

The Preschool Years: the most important time in our children's lives. We are creating foundations that will last a lifetime, so what kind of impression are we making on our children's core being?

Proverbs 22:6 is the starting point for all parents, and Mary Tabb, my Mom's Club leader, has spoken so eloquently about what the Bible really MEANS when it says to "train up a child in the way he should go." 

Need a refresher? ME TOO! 

And here's some more on how to "train up."

Three Reasons to Discipline: Make sure you set clear boundaries!
  1. Did you tell them not to do it? Are they being defiant?
  2. Are they endangering themselves or others?
  3. Is it immoral or unbiblical?
Use these three questions to analyze why, if, or how you will discipline your child. Sometimes, you might just be disciplining because you are tired, annoyed or contrary to your children's tastes. Ann gave the example of the time one of her boys came home with his head shaved. Right before school pictures. Any mom's nightmare, but did he break the rules? 

Did she tell him not to do it? NO.

Did it hurt him or someone else? NO.

Was it immoral? NO.

Three "No"s meant she couldn't discipline him.

Best Illustration:
There is power in keeping your cool with your kids. 

Most of us have been pulled over by a police officer or State Trooper. Your heart is beating, I mean POUNDING. The temperature has risen by about 20*. You start to sweat. 

You start to wonder, "What did I do?" 

Or if you KNOW you were speeding, you wonder, "How much is this going to cost?"

Are we really worried that the officer is going to come and rip our head off? Are we really worried that he's going to whip his gun out and force us to the ground? What are we really afraid of?

We are afraid of that person, coolly and calmly coming up to our window and calling us out on what we've done wrong. We are afraid of being caught. We are afraid of the consequences

We don't want our children to be afraid, but we do want them to respect the authority that goes along with our position as parents, just like the State Trooper is respected. He has authority. The Law is on his side.

We have authority as parents as well, but we can lose it easily if we are not careful. Our authority comes from God's Word. In Exodus 20:12 we receive our authority from God as parents, but as men we can quickly lose that power through our own folly. Act with authority from God. Discipline with God's authority. And STAY COOL!

We are called to discipline with teaching and reassurance. Make it a teachable moment rather than a tearing down moment.

Recommended Reading for new parents:
This book is out of print, but I found it on Amazon HEREYou and Your Child- Chuck Swindoll

Favorite/ Most Memorable Quote:
Don't break the spirit, but the will while disciplining.


Biblical support for disciplining children:

And My Favorite:

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Makes sense to me, and who wouldn't want a harvest of righteousness and peace? 

Now parts two and three of these notes should be available next year or when we have another rainy day...

1 comment:

Tara G. said...

My all-time favorite child-rearing book is Withhold Not Correction by Bruce Ray. We keep extra copies because people approach us about this topic often enough that we don't want to give up our own copy!

How wonderful that you have a Titus 2 woman to help you navigate through these foundational years!