Wednesday's Word

So after a long hiatus, we're back to our regularly scheduled programming ladies and gentlemen. I've been taking notes for the past few weeks at Mom's Club, but I've been in a funk. Picture posts and home projects and birthday parties have been so much easier than working on and building my relationship with my Lord

So Mary inspired me today to get back into daily time with Him.

Today's discussion wasn't full of Biblical references like usual, but it was so good.  Mary talked to us about how to show love in our homes. She went through a list of the many important things we need to be sure we are communicating to our children. I think the list could easily be applied to husbands as well.
  • I enjoy being with you. The easiest way to communicate that idea: stop what you are doing and do something with them. Be deliberate. Send them a message. Turn off the phone. Stop texting. Get off the computer. Turn off the t.v. Children want you to watch them. Picture a child at the swimming pool, ready to jump off the diving board. What does she say? "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Look at me!" Jump. Splash. 
  • I like watching you grow up into what God wants you to be. So often, parents want their kids to stay young. Don't grow up! You're my little princess! Oh, my sweet baby! Recognizing that God has a plan for our children (and realizing they need to learn to do stuff on their own) is essential to loving our children. If you've got a little one, don't scare them about what is coming up for them in life. Middle school was the obvious example today. People cringe about how "awful" the middle school years are. But if you approach it with an "awful" attitude, how is your child going to approach it? Children need to be excited about growing up and finding God's way for their lives.
  • I like who you're becoming. To combat the "NO" that our kids hear every five minutes when they are 2 or 3 or 13 or 17, we need to focus on what kinds of development they are making. We're supposed to be our children's advocate. Speaking to our children and others about what we love about them will encourage them to grow further. If there is something that really bugs you about your child (boundless energy, incessant talking, etc), direct them so that they can use what's frustrating you. And remember, that child is becoming something God wants her to be, not what you want her to be.
  • I think you have good ideas. Don't be afraid to change plans. Maybe you're not afraid, but like me when it comes to plans. It's MY plan. Let them know that they are SOMEONE by listening to what they say and letting them take control. When you are a little kid, an adult thinking you are bright or worth something is EVERYTHING. Case in point: I read this woman's blog. They have family night once a week. Last week one of her children got to be in charge. Just go and look at the smile on that child's face!
  • I forgive you. I cried at this one. We've been struggling with wills in our household. I've been struggling with how to deal with our sensitive one, AE. I've learned that even saying her name with a harsh tone is killing her spirit. Crushing her. I'm working on it. She recently said, "Remember when you were mad at me last day {yesterday}?" It broke my heart to see her still processing that I was mad at her. Being deliberate in discipline is important. Following up with I love you, I forgive you and Let's move on is even more important right now for us.
  • I love you for who you are. NOT WHAT I WANT YOU TO BE. Our children are like olive plants. They are not extensions of us. They are individuals with THEIR OWN root systems. They don't all look alike, but they all need pruning. Their roots are important. Where are they planted?
  • I support you in the things you enjoy. Dad wants a sports star. Child wants to go to art school. Mom wants a dancer. Child wants to ride horses. The list goes on. Don't just take them. Watch them. Don't just be present. Watch them. Cheer for them. Support them. Brings us back to where we started: I enjoy being with you.
And because every post is better with pictures, here are a few of AE's more recent "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Look at me!" moments:

See that smile? Now go make someone else smile!


Shannon said...

What a great post!

Sabrina said...

Wow. Everything you just wrote about is wonderful. I think that we all forget that our children are people too with thoughts and feelings. Thanks for sharing.

Lisa said...

You came back with an incredible list, as usual. I'm writing them down right now...thanks.

Kristen said...

Another great post!

Be sure to check out your blogging award in my latest post!

Lori said...

WOW, I needed to hear this! This has been a challenging week for sure and I do not feel myself being the 'mommy' I want to be... this was so great, you are wonderful at putting Mary's thoughts down for us to enjoy - especially when we miss MC... I would have been in tears the whole time today (ha.) Thanks!